Field of 33 - Race Day Roles at the Indy 500

In this year’s “Month of May” series, on each day leading up to the Indianapolis 500 on May 26, a different topic about the race or about Indianapolis will be discussed. Each of these topics will be ranked to create special “fields of 33” regarding the Indy 500. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you learn something about Indianapolis and the Indy 500, the Greatest Spectacle in Racing.

When your group attends the race, whether or not you realize it, every individual has a specific job to do or role that they acquire. Some are obvious (the ticket-holder) while others are not (the one who is prepared with extra medicine or sunscreen). My family has had tickets for 37 years now, and over the years our group of 30 have done a great job at developing these unofficial roles and doing their jobs extremely well! Trust me, you and your group will fit into these roles without much difficulty at all. Without further ado, we present to you the Field of 33 Race Day Roles for the Indianapolis 500!

 

Row 11

33. The Whiner – Every group has one… “It’s too hot!” “It’s too cold!” “It’s raining!” “I got sunburn!” Not matter what, the whiner will strike! It’s not the label you want to have, but somebody in every group becomes it.

32. Medicine Woman – …or man. I’m not sexist here. But there’s somebody who should have the advil and the bandaids and other needs on them. Usually it’s just someone (usually a mother) who naturally carries around the Advil and tums in her purse anyway! Our group has a few Medicine Women who literally will race to see who gets their bottle of Ibuprofen out first!

31. Bathroom Person – This one goes two ways…this is either the “Tiny Bladder Guy” who uses the restroom way too often, or it is the person who will always offer to take the young ones to use the bathroom, no matter what is happening in the race at that time.

Row 10

30. The Join for the After Party Guy – Probably every group has at least one person who does not attend the race but will join for the entertainment before/after the race. They don’t attend because they don’t enjoy the race as much, they have been there so many times before, they don’t have a ticket, they are watching the kids at home, or simply they are concerned about weather. We grace their presence for the after party each year anyway!

29. The Magician – Somebody around you will all of a sudden do a magic act and disappear after about the first five or ten laps of the race. Where does he go? Bathroom? Infield? Home? Coke Lot? Snake Pit? Nobody really knows…

28. The Drunk One – …well, the most drunk of them all.

Row 9

27. Earplug Person – Somebody needs to be in charge of collecting and passing out earplugs for the race. Actually, not for the race, but for Florence singing. That’s when they’re most needed.

26. The “Why” Guy – One person, most likely a rookie in your group or somebody who loves the race but doesn’t religiously follow racing, will repeatedly ask questions regarding the race. “Why did he pit?” “Why does he sound so bad?” “Why is Gomer Pyle singing?”

25. The “Because” Guy – Somebody who has all of the answers to the Why Guy’s questions. IKE.

Row 8

24. Sandwich Man – This is another two-part role. First, it’s likely that someone in particular is in charge of organizing lunch for the day (assuming you don’t buy at the track…I would highly suggest not buying at the track). That someone (thanks Laurie and Sue!) will purchase the food that will be taken to the track. The second part is the lucky guy who gets the sandwich cooler. He/she is then at the expense of the rest of the group! If somebody wants their lunch, the Sandwich Man digs out the correct paper bag and serves it up.

23. Waterboy– Most years, the Waterboy is the most prized job to have. Very few will go for the water and will bother the guy who has the beer cooler instead! However, the past three years have flirted with record high temperatures, making the Waterboy an essential part of a successful race day experience!

22. Traffic Cop – After the race ends and you make it back to your car, the fun still is not over. Good luck finding your way into traffic to be able to leave your parking location and get back to your home/hotel. You need a very special member of your group to come in the clutch as the Traffic Cop. This guy has guts and no reserve as he walks into the middle of the traffic jam and holds up a car so that the rest of the group can leave. Thanks Don!

Row 7

21. Parking Attendant – Somebody needs to set up the parking location ahead of time to ensure your lot/front yard is still available. Thank you to the couple of fine residents of Speedway who have who have allowed us to park in their back yards for nearly 30 years now!

20. The Rookie – You’re at the mercy of all of the veterans! Don’t worry, they’ll show you a GREAT TIME! However, don’t be surprised if you get pushed into the line of the mechanical rat or tricked into holding the beer cooler! Don’t worry, you’ll have an unbelievable experience nevertheless!

19. There in Spirit – Some cannot make it with you to the race this year. But they are always there with you in spirit. To Rick spotting in turn one, to Chris and Erin rooting on Marco from Maryland, and to those looking down on the race keeping it safe from above, we’re thinking about you as we watch the Greatest Spectacle in Racing, wishing you could be here, too.

Row 6 – The “Mark” Row

18. The Skeptic – Most rookies are skeptical the first time they are “dragged” to the race by a friend or family member. I know Mark said that he didn’t care much to go to the race. He’s not alone. “Why would I want to watch cars go in circles?” “That sounds like a bore.” Well, he went in 2001, and he hasn’t missed a race since! He even drove all night after working to arrive in Indianapolis at 7:00 on race day morning! If you’re skeptical, just think that somebody else was just like you but drove a sleepless night for over six hours just to watch “cars going in circles.”

17. The Pack Mule – Mark, you are the man for this one. The Indy 500 is very fan-friendly as you can bring your own food and beverages into the track. That does mean, however, that there are many coolers and bags that need to be carried (sometimes over a mile or more) to and from the Speedway. The Pack Mule takes it upon himself to take half of the load for 30 people all by himself! He just claims he needs to be balanced and that’s why he takes more…okay we’ll agree!

16. The Spiller – J.R. Hildebrand just crashed in turn 4 on the last lap of the 2011 race! But he still manages to cross the start-finish line and radio announcers believe he has won! So our former-skeptic throws his hands up in excitement, knocking his neighbor’s full beer into the air, which lands on another fan a few rows below. LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM!

Row 5

15. The Good Samaritan – This is the person who goes and cleans up after the Spiller’s excitement. Thanks Heather!

14. The Racing Expert – Somebody in each group will serve as the expert of the group when it comes to the Indy 500 and the IndyCar Series. He/she will serve as the go-to person when you want to know how many laps they can go on fuel, what team a driver is on, what strategy the team is using, or why a car is driving the way it is. Also, don’t be surprised if somebody goes and quizzes the Expert on who won the 1965 race and how many laps did he lead that year. (Yes, I can go back to 1976 and name every race winner…I’m sick…)

13. The Apprentice – This person is the up-and-coming Racing Expert who loves racing and wants to know more. Or maybe it’s the person who will take over the Racing Pool (what’s that? Oh, he qualified P5.) in future years. Either way, this person will one day take over some of the big jobs, won’t you, Joey?

Row 4 – Weather Men

12. The Meteorologist – This goes one of two ways: either this person claims to be a weather man and keeps giving a forecast that varies from the professional prediction, or this person is checking his phone every two minutes to see the updated radar and look for that Window Over Terra Haute!

11. The One Who Ignores the Forecast – It’s a high of 90, but they’ll wear a sweatshirt. There’s a 80% chance of rain in the morning, but they’ll forget a jacket and poncho. This person doesn’t listen to the meteorologist and ends up getting burned (sometimes quite literally).

10. The One Forced to Wear the Sarah Fisher Hat – I think this one speaks for itself, doesn’t it? Who gets to wear it this year, Dave or Mike?

Row 3 – Sunshine Row

9. The Sunscreen Person – Some will forget to bring sunscreen. This is a known fact. One person in particular will have two extra bottles for the group to use. And if you’re not careful, that person will randomly in the middle of the race spray the back of your neck when you’re not looking because it’s starting to look red.

8. The One Who Refuses to Wear Sunscreen – “I won’t get burned, don’t worry!” Ya, how does that work for you every year, Chris?

7. The One Who Gets Burned Anyway – I know Brittany will put on sunscreen every fifteen laps this year, and rain or shine she will still be as red as a lobster the next day.

Row 2

6. The Radio Man – You can count on your radio guy to give you the crucial updates of what’s happening in the race. This person has the track scanner and is listening to the radio broadcast of the race. He can tell you why Kanaan fell back five spots in the pits, who stalled, or who hit the wall on the other side of the track. Thank you goes out to Walt for being the bearer of both good and bad news for our group via the Speedway radio system.

5. Pool Master – This person will run your group pool and will collect and hold the money to be awarded. Each member of your group puts down a money amount ($1 is pretty standard)and gets a spot in the pool. For each entry, a name of a driver is drawn from a hat. If your driver finishes 1st / 2nd / 3rd (or whatever way you want to do it…we like having a second pool where you win money for finishing last, leading most laps, leading at lap 100, finishing 4th, etc.) then you win money! The Pool Master organizes the pool, cuts out the slips of paper, and records the results in his handy guide. You can keep it simple and write names down on slips of paper, or cut out full pictures of the cars themselves. It’s up to you. The Apprentice will one day take over.

4. The One Who Always Asks about the Pool – “Who did I have?” “What’s the name of my last-row starter again?” “Wait, some no name is in the lead, who has him?” “Who had Sato? That’s got to hurt!” “Who has Kanaan?” “Who has TK?” “Wait tell me who has TK!” …I promise you that the person who has TK hasn’t changed. But I’ll gladly tell you anyway because I forgot who it was too!

Row 1

3. The Ticket Holder – He holds onto the tickets for the group until the last minute! He will count and recount and recount to make sure he has all of the tickets accounted for. And as a result, the Ticket Holder faces the wrath of the rest of the group. “Do you have the tickets?” “Did you count the tickets?” “Oh no, where are the tickets?” Thanks for putting up with all of our jokes, Dave!

2. Beer Man – This is both good and bad. The bad part is that you have to carry a heavy cooler full of beer to the track. Plus, once there, you have to serve the rest of your group when they say “Beer Man, I need a green!” However, there is a good side too. You don’t have to ask anybody to get a drink, you just serve yourself! And after the race ends, you know that beer cooler will be close to empty. That makes for a nice, light trip back to your car.

1. The Polesitter – He takes charge on race day. He leads the convoy of cars to the parking spot. He leads the group of walkers on the trek to the track. He sets up the rendezvous points to ensure the group is still together. He leads the pack, keeps them on pace so that they don’t fall behind, but at the same time makes rue that the group stays together. Thank you to our polesitter, Walt!

Pace Car

The Concierge – This person or people are the leaders of the group who organize the entire get-together. Walt and Dave began 37 years ago, and they continue to be fearless leaders to this day!

The Field of 33 – Roles at the Indy 500

Pace Car: The Concierge

Row 1	1. The Polesitter	2. Beer Man	3. Ticket Holder
Row 2	4. The One Who Always Asks about the Pool	5. Pool Master	6. Radio Man
Row 3	7. The One Who Gets Burned Anyway	8. The One Who Refuses to Wear Sunscreen	9. The Sunscreen Person
Row 4	10. The One Forced to Wear the Sarah Fisher Hat	11. The One Who Ignores the Forecast	12. The Meteorologist
Row 5	13. The Apprentice	14. The Racing Expert	15. The Good Samaritan
Row 6	16. The Spiller	17. The Pack Mule	18. The Skeptic
Row 7	19. There in Spirit	20. The Rookie	21. Parking Attendant
Row 8	22. Traffic Cop	23. Waterboy	24. Sandwich Guy
Row 9	25. The “Because” Guy	26. The “Why” Guy	27. Earplug Person
Row 10	28. The Drunk One	29. The Magician	30. The Join for the After Party Guy
Row 11	31. Bathroom Person	32. Medicine Woman	33. The Whiner